Even though Colorado won't be bowling in the post season, at least they can play in the traitor bowl now

Yes it's come at last. Nebraska versus Colorado. Many Nebraska fans consider Colorado fans to be low class bottle throwing drunken retards. But now, much to the chagrin of CU Buff haters everywhere, Nebraska leaves the Big 12 on the same footing as Colorado. The Cornhuskers are just another participant in the BIG 12 traitor bowl. Will Colorado spoil Nebraska's season? Will The Huskers put one last boot print on the ass of the Buffalos on their way out the Big 12 door? Who will win? Who will lose? No one knows for sure, but it won't be a member of the Big 12.

An ugly killer rears its head again

H5N1 made it's debut in Hong Kong today. This virus has made it's way out of the headlines lately, but, and this is one where I'll hate to say I told you so, of everything out there today H5N1 or Avian flu as it is better known has the potential to cause a brutal pandemic the likes of which the world hasn't seen since small pox. Normally I urge restraint, but ignoring this killer is fool hardy and that's exactly what is happening. Smart people, I know there's at least one of you out there. Pay attention to the Avian flu, it's just a matter of time before this thing crosses with another more virulent flu strain. And that, will be very, very ugly.

Taylor freaking Martinez

What can I say. The kid looked good. check out the stat line Taylor Martinez put up 23/35/323, 5 TD and no picks.

some confidential IRS document?

who knew?

Why killing terrorists is so much fun

I'm not one of those people who believes that Islam is evil, and I don't think America or anyone else has any right to tell others how they should live, but this is the kind of crap that is widespread under Taliban rule and it is the reason why America has a duty to fix the problems it started. The woman in this picture is receiving treatment in America right now, but the people who did this are still at large. Hamid Karzi, Afghanistan's president is even considering reconciling with them.

Brave New Animal Farm from 1984?

Holy crap! I knew they were watching me all along! It just goes to prove that, "just because you're paranoid don't mean their not after you." Check out this Orwellian article! Did you know that the FBI doesn't need a warrant to track any American with GPS? The almighty and wonderful President Obama believes GPS tracking devices attached to the bottom of unsuspecting citizen's cars are valuable tools used with "great frequency." Luckily, though our president might not care much for the rights of the ordinary American, at least one ordinary American proved that we're not all shmucks. This guy threw himself onto a man having a seizure in the middle of the New York Subway tracks, and pushed him down underneath the train with his own body, saving his life. You can read up on it here. Now, if only he could have thrown Glenn Beck off of the subway platform and in front of the on coming train. Sigh, I guess nobodies perfect.

Who knew it was legal in Holland to muzzle free speech

Here's a video clip of the dutch putting a politician on trial for being a racist asshole. While I agree that it is base and utterly classless to rail against an millions of people one has never met, I feel like throwing people who do so in jail is wrong. It's important for people to be able to articulate their views, even if they are offensive. But the Dutch justice system doesn't seem to think this way, which is why they suck.

Taylor Martinez for 2012 heisman

The obvious follow up to the title of this post is, "though he might suck at times this year." But though at times this year he may suck like a $3 prostitute, as he did in Nebraska's 17-3 victory over South Dakota State University, Martinez still has a promising future in front of him. In the words of sports editor Chuck Stark, who was blogging for the Kitap Sun when Nebraska demolished Washington earlier this year, "boy he is quick."


Stark was watching what can gleefully be referred to on the internet as an "asskicking." One where Martinez scored four touchdowns and ran for 137 yards. But what is Martinez then? Is he the bum who scored once and turned the ball over three times at SDSU, or the guy who scored four touchdowns at Washington?

The answer is that Martinez is what many husker fans have known he is since the moment they heard he was going to start, a talented rookie quarterback. The kid's speed is certainly first class, and his throwing decent as well. Considering that Nebraska hasn't had a game breaking quarterback since Eric Crouch, there's reason for Husker nation to be excited.

But if fans thought Martinez was going to become the best quarterback in college football overnight, than they were a bit naive. He has the potential to win the hiesman at some point in his college career, but he still has a loong way to go as a football player before he reaches that point.

Martinez's blazing speed has covered up some glaring errors in his game against inferior opponents. But when it comes to facing talented, well coach football teams, he's going to make more than his fair share of rookie mistakes. He's fortunate that he has the patented Pelini pass rush and secondary to rely on, but until he learns to step up in the pocket and not make stupid throws under pressure he's never going to light up the scoreboards as a throwing quarterback. And, if he keeps leaving himself open to taking big shots when he runs he might not even make it through the season.

That said, it's not exactly time for Cornhuskers everywhere to start pushing the panic button. Martinez's 75 yards against the Jackrabbits is nothing to sneeze at, and the speed he showed against Washington is very real. Husker fans can reasonably expect at minimum a thousand yard rushing year out of him, and a year like that will cement his place among college football's best quarterbacks coming into the 2011 season.

Dear Pakistan, nobody cares

Dear Pakistan,
Why in gods name are you protesting a little known florida pastor burning korans? Militants are currently attempting to usurp your government, and United States troops are making sorties within your borders. I'm not saying this pastor isn't being sacrilegious and antagonistic, but, really, you can't go to the corner store without fear of being blown up. Is one idiot's grandstanding that important to you? Listen to this idiot Pakistani, please god tell me that he is not representative of the population at large.

back in full effect

Articulate aggression is back, and I am more articulate and aggressive than ever. Just browsing through my google alerts a second ago and came across one of my favorite running gags, that is, the theft of the Saudi crown jewels by the Thai royal family. The suspected ring leader in the theft, which also involved a string of murders, was Lt. Gen. Somkid Boonthanom. He is now being promoted to be one of the assistant national police chiefs.
In the face of Saudi outrage Thai Prime Minister Aghisit Vejjajiva publicly defended Somkid's promotion on Monday, saying that it was legal and would in no way affect the case of the jewel theft, which Somkid is set to go on trial for Nov. 25. Thailand is a country known for political incompetence and rampant corruption so I'd have to disagree with the prime minister on his claim that this won't affect the trial. To me, this looks like a move to safeguard the general's royal handlers by giving him the power to escape justice.

South Korea sics killer robots on the North

Mwhuahahaha

The saga of the Big 12 and Nebraska

Well, crap. Nebraska is going to the Big 10. I have ignored this topic for a while, well, to be fair I have ignored all topics for a while. But as it vexes me so thoroughly I can no longer bear the shame of what my beloved Cornhusker football team has been subjected to by it's gutless and conniving caretakers.

Tom Osborne you get the free pass on this one, although you shouldn't. It's only because of your exemplary service in the past that I will break when I see you crossing the street But Harvey Pearlmen, J.B. Milligin, you two had should never forget to look both ways before crossing, or stand too close to the curb. And though I will probably never run you over because of the legal repercussions, I just want you to know on the off chance that you ever read this that you both suck.

Thank you for ruining football traditions that were as old and storied as any the game has ever seen. Of course, Harvey Pearlmen is no stranger to destroying old and storied traditions, this was after all the same man who killed the Nebraska state fair in Lincoln.

Of course economically, this was a victory. Nebraska received about $10 million in conference revenues compared to the $20 mill schools in the Big 10 got this year. And there will also be new storied rivalries created. Penn State, Michigan, and Ohio State are all among the winningest programs in NCAA history and if Iowa can keep on it's current roll it too will provide some great matchups for Nebraska. These are some things to look forward to, and some very nice things at that. But it's what we left and the way we left that makes me so angry. Economics and new rivalries be damned!

The fact that the Big 8 NEBRASKA's conference when it welcomed in a bunch of refugees from the old south west conference to form the Big 12 bothers me. The Big 12 should have been our conference too. But Nebraska football, and lets not kid ourselves football is the driving force behind all of the politics in college athletics, took a nose dive shortly after the Big 12 was founded. So the power dynamic shifted. Texas took over Nebraska's conference. So how does Nebraska respond when it finally gets strong enough to put Texas in its place? It abandons its own conference and skulks away like some upset child. I can just imagine Harvey Pearlmen looking and Big 12 commish Don Beebe and saying "If you don't want to pway nice I'll take my ball and go home." How embarrassing. Nebraska was a hairsbreadth away from regaining dominance in the conference, and they gave up right when they were on the cusp of victory. Absolutely pathetic. The Big 12 had problems that we could have fixed, Nebraska could have taken its conference back, instead they gave up and ran away to the east, abandoning their midwestern roots for a quick payout and some petty revenge.



The move from the big 12, no the big 8, was a betrayal. A kick in the back right as the conference was finally becoming healthy again. With the rise of Nebraska Big 12 North football was back on its feet and the climate of the conference was finally ready for meaningful reform. That's why Big 10 commissioner Jim Delaney knew now was the time to strike. If he waited much longer to slither in and rip Nebraska from the Big 12, the conference would have been profitable, modern, and immune to Delaney's unscrupulous power play. But I'm not that bitter, I'll let this go and enjoy all of the great football matchups that Nebraska will be a part of in the Big 10. James Delaney, may you enjoy interesting times and always come to the attention of those in authority.

Drugs are bad mmmkay

Espn's Jon Clayton totally does look like South Park's Mr. Mackey. Totally looks like.com is great for realizing things like that.



I read two stories today, one from Newsweek and one from Web MD. Web MD says that long term usage of marijuana causes Psycosis. Newsweek unveils a marijuana type drug that is cheaper, more potent, widely sold and legal in most states.


And at the end, we must always remember the immortal advice of South Park's Mr. Mackey mmmk.


That is all.

How many pollacks does it take to crash an airplane?

ok, this is in really poor taste, but I'm an asshole and have no respect for the dead so, come about midnight I'm going to post on this as well as all of the crazy stuff going down in BKK.

good ol' Thai democracy

Now, I realize not many people in America give a shit about Thailand, but, hey, I do. So suck it. The craziness going on down there is as entertaining as anything else going on in the world right now, so I feel like it's worth a look.
Thailand's democracy, like others that could be named, often relies on military coups to squelch popular unrest. The end result is that, much like Turkey until recent times, Thailand is a Democracy with a military veto. So, every once in a while, the military asserts itself in Thailand during times of popular unrest, or when a leader challenges its position in the established governmental order.

This offends a lot of people, and I have a lot of problems with this style as well. The army is turned loose on civilians every once in a while in a Thai style democracy, which results in civilian casualties. 25 people were killed and hundreds more injured when the military attempted to disperse the Redshirt Occupation of Bangkok on April 10th. Now granted, some of these protests were growing violent, and they were crippling Bangkok's economy, but there's never an excuse for any government to kill it's citizens. After all, what is the purpose of government except to protect the interest of it's constituents.

That is of course a wonderful axiom, but, one that is rarely lived up to. Except in America, cause our country rules. But I digress. In Thailand, that axiom is often laughable. The government is often corrupt and brutal, and when the inevitable death of the revered king Bhumibol the specter of civil strife looms over this tropical paradise. Journeyman pictures has done an incredible job in breaking down the conflict, none of my friends have any money, but if you should read this article in some 2 am drunken stupor, you should pay them if you've got any money.

China getting less bitchy

China has been toning down its recent inflammatory rhetoric according to Charles Hutzler of the Journal star. It's about friggen time is all I can say, China's been rebelling against US authority while highlighting all of the reasons why US authority has done so much good for the world for a couple of years now.

I still remember when Hu Jin Tao came to power as a pragmatic reformer. It'd sure be nice to see that guy resurface again because this attitude that the Chinese government has been putting off over the last couple of years has been stoking our own warhawks here in the US, and we don't need to give anti-market ultra nationalist reactionaries any more political ammo.

The big picture is this, Frosty US-Sino relations are bad for all parties involved. They are especially for a China which seems to have forgotten that it has a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way to go before its its government can be considered even the palest of shadows compared to that of the United states. They'll need to find a way to facilitate a peaceful exchange of power and to facilitate a free civil society before they can stand on even footing with the western liberal democracies. Until they do that the spector of violent revolution will hang over the heads of China's leaders like the proverbial sword of Damocles waiting to strike down all of the progress that's been made in the last 3 decades.

The Chinese have been threatening to kill the American goose that lays all of the golden eggs for a while now. But Americans shouldn't threat about this posturing, Chinese leaders know their country would go through a devastating regression if they disengaged from US partnership, and possibly violent overthrow of the government. But this bleak scenario doesn't seem likely. China has built a lot of momentum in the last three decades, and that's a wonderful thing. If their spoiled and corrupt government officials can pull their heads out of their collective asses for just a few more decades humanity could be in for a new golden age ... or we could all roast in nuclear fire. It all depends on how that country of 1,000,000,000 people chooses to interact with the world.

Obama Czech's Iran

Almighty sovereign messiah Barrack Obama in his infinite compassion and wisdom graced us mortals with the gift of his peace at a ceremony in a Prague castle today when he and Russian President Dmetri Mdvedev signed an important treaty on nuclear non proliferation.

The two powers who together own about 95% of the worlds nuclear weapons will still pack enough nuclear punch to end all life on planet earth, but have agreed to reduce their stock pile by about 30%. The move is being described as a foreign policy victory for both Obama and Medvedev with the end result being that America will now have much more latitude in placing restrictions on Iran in attempts to check its fledgling nuclear program. All hail Obama, all hail the new emperor of the American empire!

Where's David Duke when you need him

Now I realize that South Africa is a country with a long histroy of racial strife, but this corny little bastard seems intent on taking things to a new level. And he's not just some crack pot, he's the guy in charge of the ruling party's youth movement, Julius Malema. Radicalism and racism may be part and parcel with South African politics, but calling for Zimbabwean style land seizures after seeing how they completely shelled out the Zimbabwean economy is the quite possibly dumbest shit I have ever heard of.

Who is the one allowing this guy to brain wash the youth of South Africa? For God sakes! Won't somebody please think about the children ... alright, fuck the children, instead won't somebody please punch this guy in the face!
Time to put away the hate South Africa, because this guy is making you look very stupid.

DHHS gloats about imposition of the smoking ban

It's official, I now hate most Nebraskans. At least if the journal star's headline "Most Nebraskans support smoking ban," is true. Thankfully DHHS put out a biased-assed survey to support their claims, so it's almost like the civil liberties of smokers weren't infringed upon at all.

Tornadoes in Oklahoma

Well, it's not like this is a surprise, but here's some video footage

Any publicity is good publicity?

Good news libertarians! It's a crazy guy! That's right Ron Paul, your new most famous disciple is the now deceased 36-year-old John Patrick Bell, the wack job who shot those guys at the Pentagon. The scary thing is that a lot of the things that this guy says, while controversial, have some merit. He had his physics degree from Cal and ran his own technology firm with the revolutionary goal of creating a USB drive that performs personal DNA sequencing. He was eccentric, but a real smart guy. You can read his libertarian blog here! This story kind of creeps me out, but I'll print it anyway because I love radical libertarians so very much.

I got what you need!

Anyone who reads this blog can post in the comment section and tell me what they want to know about. My main area of interest is international news, but I would like nothing better than to personalize this blog to anyone who reads it. If there is something YOU want to know about, you let me know!!

Fucking fine then

Though I care very little about women's basketball I think I would be remiss not to give madness of props to the NU women's basketball team that is currently 29-0. While nuclear fusion may seem more likely than Connie Yori's Huskers avoiding a monumental backslide next year, it's still refreshing to see a Nebraska team come out and compete at such a high level. It looks like the No. 3 ranked Huskers are a definite title contender this year. So good luck ladies, even if the UNK men's basketball team could dominate you, I still wish you success.

Journalists under attack again in China

It takes some one who is either brave or crazy to challenge the authority of the Chinese government like this editor did. He got fired of course, and he's probably going to get messed with by the secret police for the rest of his life. That's the thing with China though, even though it is gradually easing away from an authoritarian regime, it's still an authoritarian regime. China's policy of suppressing civil society is intact as ever, and continuing to scare trade America's way, which is good, but it still looks a lot like an evil empire to me.


All those editors did was highlight problems China needs to continue to address. China's Houshold registration system, the Hukou system, is unjust and detrimental to the country and China has been working to reform the system. But since political opinions are banned, even one that advocates a similar policy to that of the government's is still illegal. That's China for you. But Americans who don't want to be overshadowed by the rising eastern dragon should take heart from these events. This latest show of China's backwardness proves that they are still light years behind America in terms of functioning civil government.

The Chinese are hurting themselves by silencing reformers, not America. I almost feel as though I shouldn't even be concerned that there's injustice being done there. Suppressing political free speech and monopolizing government is a major handycap in the free market after all. Why help a competitor fix his problems? The Communist party is weeding out its best and its brightest, and I say, America should be recruiting them hard right now. I would give my left nut to work for this editor, Zhang Hong, if he ever gets done being anally probed by the super corrupt communist government.

Hong had this to say to his government, ''To put it bluntly, I've lived for 36 years, but never known which representatives were chosen by me, who are able to seek justice on my behalf,'' Zhang wrote. ''We hope that the voices of the masses can make themselves heard among the representatives who 'represent public opinion." .

That about says it all.

Pakistani legislators balk at terrorism precautions.

Pakistani legislators took personal offense at being asked to submit to full body scans in a Washington airport earlier today. I'm thinking this was premeditated and intended to be a barb aimed the United States because it added Pakistan to its terrorist no fly list. I thought The New York Times seemed to imply this here

These men made sure to let America know that they dissaproved of being placed under extra security. Read the New York Times article, it broke it down there better than I ever could. Essentially, Pakistan is a country where there are a lot of "terrorists." It sucks that it's true but Pakistan needs to continue to butch up and kill Al Queda. They're a nuclear armed country with a large minority that wishes to do harm to America, so to me, it seems entirely justified that they be subjected to extra scrutiny when traveling.

Naomi Campbell to transition from super model to cage fighter?

I saw this come across Reuters and had a chuckle. It's not like Campbell doesn't already have a reputation for being feisty, but it never gets old watching a spoiled diva make an ass of herself. It's enough to make Wayne Brady wanna choke a bitch.

Will rapid growth in oil output stabilise Iraq?

Iraq has started making deals with the big oil companies. This is good news for a country that is struggling to find money for schools and transportation infrastructure. If Iraq can ever get its shit together it now possesses some enormous advantages over other regional powers. Of course, it has the worlds third largest oil reserves, but it also now has an alliance with the United States and a liberalized western style economy, weak and frail though it may be. If Iraq lets the big oil multinationals do their thing, the country could be in for an economic windfall like nothing ever seen before.


The reason for this potential windfall has every thing to do with the US led invasion of the country. The oil industry has been loosed from the chains of state control. This is a competitive advantage that cannot be under estimated. Most oil development in the troubled middle east is controlled by state owned conglomerates who are corrupt and inefficient. By allowing oil super powers like Exon, BP and Royal Dutch Shell to develop the country's oil resources Iraq could steer clear of these endemic pitfalls that have so hampered the growth of an Arab middle class.


Now, I know hundreds of thousands of civilians have been butchered as a result of the US occupation of Iraq, and it would be naive for American's to think that Iraqis will be immediately grateful for the huge amount of money our country spent in taking vengeance on the Islamic world for 9/11, but, imagine if you will a wealthy and democratic Iraq aligned with the US. What a game changer that would be in Middle east, and indeed, world politics. As the Iraqis out competed their neighbors the would inadvertently pressure despotic nations like Iran and Saudi Arabia into governmental reforms through soft economic power.

Now, obviously, the middle east is a long way from deliverance. But, if Iraq can show the foresight to allow foreign oil companies to operate without government interference, and the whererwithall to root out and destroy corruption, it could rise like a phoenix from the ashes to become the dominant regional power in the middle east, and drag the rest of the middle east kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

Snakes vs. Dinosaurs!!!!

Articulate Aggression has been idle for a while, but we're back baby! I thought I'd start off light hearted with this BBC article about a snake fossilized in the act of killing a dinosaur and eating dinosaur eggs. Seriously, that might be cooler than this picture of a bear with a machine gun riding a shark.

Another Reason why America's Credit is Great

Lest we forget

The Supreme Council for the Restoration of Democracy assures Niger citizens of their safety. Nigerians are well armed and probably don't care.

The reason why America's credit is great

Niger is an oil rich country, and this recent coup puts foreign investors like America and China in an interesting situation. Niger has always suffered from chronic corruption. The question is. Will a new regime bring about greater stability in a region with huge profit potential? If so whoever can make inroads with a Nigeria that has the potential for a huge boom, stands to make a killing. This economic carrot alone will encourage heated competition between world powers seeking for influence, but adding the fact that Nigeria is an important oil asset from a national defense standpoint makes it even more likely that proxy battles between powers will flare up and continue to keep Nigeria unstable. Which is a shame. Because if the powers cooperated together, they could invest in an Africa with vast material riches, and turn those unused assets into currency.


Multi-national oil corporations like Exxon and Royal Dutch shell are looking on anxiously as the coup plays out, no matter who wins they are going to get their money. The question is, are Americans going to get their money as well. As ceasar once said, the die is being cast in oil hotspots around the world. Our economy is closely tied to many of these hotspots and without them our economy would be subject to foriegn manipulation and might even grind to a halt.

Who cares about Thailand anyway

Ask an average American about Thailand and about the only thing he'll be able to identify about it is sunny beaches and child rape. But even though most Americans don't care about this depraved, politically troubled nation, it is much more important than they realize. It's proximity to, and hostility towards China makes it a vital ally to american policy interests in the region, not to mention it is both economically and militarily important.

That's why it's nice to see that this turbulent country is starting to level out. Prime minister Abhisit Vejjajiva is forging ahead despite constant challenges to government authority from non-elected sources. Kavi Chongkittavorn gives Vejjajiva high marks in this opinion column from the nation. He's still traveling a dangerous road though, the police, the royal family and the army could band together at any second to throw him out of power, and disgraced former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra is still skulking around trying to foment revolution as well. This country's political history, both current and historically reads like a soap opera. I think it's an interesting read anyway, you should check out Chongkittavor's piece.

Nuclear Fusion close?

I won't hold my breath.

Nebraska basketball?

I thought I might add some men's basketball posts to see if I could stimulate a little readership. No surprises in the article. We suck and Texas rolled us. Never the less, I've still got faith in ya even though your team sucks Doc, roll on buddy!!

Frmr. Vice Pres. Cheney declines to back Palin

Cheney refuses to support Palin despite 95% support from Mentally handicaped community. Sources close to Palin's potential 2112 campaign say that Cheney smells like poop.

And the apocalypse cometh

More activity from the Russian military-industrial complex today Russia is selling anti-aircraft missiles to Iran so they can shoot Israeli aircraft out of the sky if they try to take out Iran's nuclear program. This should actually prove to be entertaining in the long run. Eventually the long running enmity between Iran and Israel will probably come to fruition. And, when it does, it will pit a much larger re-armed nuclear Iran against against tiny little Israel with all of its state of the art weaponry and nukes. Iran is sitting on some of the most coveted real estate in the world and it knows it. I disagree with nuclear proliferation, and think it's a shame that other world powers are facilitating it for selfish political objectives. But that's Politics. The U.S.'s objectives are no less selfish.

No matter which side of the debate one is on, I think this statement, while inflammatory is true. The re-emergence of Russia as a major military industrial power bodes very ill for US interests abroad. It seems likely that it will re-ignite a long cold war with nuclear war being one of many unpalatable consequences.

Furloughs at USA Today

more grim reports from the world of print

Now I'm just trying to provoke people

This comes from Iowntheworld.com, hit em up

http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=2686

Watch out kiddles! Google buzz can sting you but good

Google launched it's own social networking program called Buzz a couple of days ago and it really is pretty cool. Think facebook sans all the annoying crap. It offers status updates, pictures, links and videos as well as updates from Flickr, Picasa, Google Reader and Twitter. There's a dirty little caviat to this delightful new program though. Buzz automatically shows who you e-mail to the most, it makes all of your posts public by default and with its handy dandy little geolocation fuction people can find you where ever you post from, awesome.

May I just say, as a committed veteran stalker I have been waiting for something like Google Buzz. Now whenever I want to terrorize some frightened young woman, so long as she's on Buzz I can find her with the click of a mouse. How fun!

Like I said before, buzz is cool, but users really have to be cautious. If you use Gmail and don't want to use buzz you're going to have to disable it or you'll be automatically opted in, and crazed stalkers like myself will find you and peep in your windows. Here's how to disable the program.

America to experience another bout of chronic VD

Valentine's day in America. The day when men bribe the women in their lives with gifts so that they won't leave them. See also, best chance of the year for sex. See also, that time of the year when couples rub their feigned happiness into the faces of their single friends.

I'm not bitter or anything, just saying. Mabye in some places Valentine's day is a day for the lucky few who have found love to rejoice in their good fortune. But in America Valentine's Day is strictly commerical. It's about selling food, diamonds, chocolate, movie tickets and god knows what else ... probably sex toys and date rape drugs. Oh and don't forget about all of the sacarine, vomit inducing ballads Americans will be forced to listen to for the next 3 days.


Luckily for those in Saudi Arabia, their austere American backed government has taken away the freedom of couples to needlessly waste a bunch of money and make single people feel like crap. Kudos to the crazy religious zelots on this one.

I think we can draw a lesson from the American support of this oppressive regime. There's enough phonyness around this stupid holiday to make JD Salinger's Holden Caulfield kill himself on the spot. Are the Saudis giving us moral support in our struggle with this insidious holiday? If so I stand in solidarity with them. They have inspired me. Obesity is a problem in America and Kim Jong Il has taken a passionate stand against that in North Korea. Perhaps it's time we threw our political backing behind him too. If we did, I'm sure I could find the strength to give up cheeseburgers and fettechini alfredo.


So, in conclusion, if you are in a relationship go enjoy yourself. But do me a favor and don't flaunt it. It's fucking annoying and Tim Duey might just have to choke a bitch if it gets too flagrant. And if you know some poor sap that nobody likes, like Joe Bremer, give him a call. Let him know, that even though nobody likes him. At least you don't hate him. :D

Obama to China, Fuck off

China's lobotomized media is in an uproar. After a year in which the Chinese government belittled President Barrack Obama at a major summit and opposed him at every opportunity, Obama has finally returned a volley in the form of an arms deal with Taiwan. The arms deal includes black hawk helicopters, mine ships and patriot missels. It sends a very clear message, specifically, "oh, you can make life hard for us can you? Well that's good, why don't you deal with this country you think of as a rebellious province while we arm them the latest in military technology."

Now, everybody knows that The USA and China can accomplish a lot more working together than they can fighting with each other, but, I for one applaud this action which seemingly heralds some far off Armageddon. International relations needs to be based on respect, and when China is blocking every UN resolution backed by America, and doing every thing they can to make our lives hard, it's about time we hit back. Let us pray we can sort our differences out, until then I'll be damned if you're going keep disrespecting me and my country without consequences.

Hopefully the apocalypse is not quite upon us, though it is no doubt near ... This is not the first and certainly will not be the last American Arms deal with Taiwan. The only question is, is this the first time we'll see serious Chinese sanctions placed on America. The odds are that China can't afford to do that. But it appears that the stage is gradually being set for some distant polar shift where China becomes just as powerful a player as America, and a more belligerent one.

Russian warplane on par with most advanced US technology

Russia's new t-50 fighter jet was rolled out earlier this week. Supposedly it's a 5th generation fighter, with stealth capability and sustained supersonic cruise, among other potentially lethal high tech gadgetry. If the Russians are not lying and that's a pretty big if since Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin is about as trustworthy as a crackhead in an electronics store, but IF they are not lying, this jet heralds the re-emergence of one of the most aggressive and dangerous military forces in human history. Further more, said aggressive and dangerous military power would be treading on the equally dangerous and aggressive toes of the American industrial military complex. World War III anyone?

Since nobody watches the State of the Union Address, here's a post!!

Obama gave his state of the Union address Wednesday. I thought he came off sounding poised and unafraid of the unprecedented challenges his administration faces. Though judging by the supreme court's reaction to Obama's criticism of a recent ruling on campaign finances not every one believes the prez walks on water.



Obama acknowledged the democratic defeat in Massachusetts but announced intentions to go ahead with health care reform anyway. He'll have to be more bipartisan about it this time if he wants it to work. Being belligerent didn't get him or his party anywhere. Obama also renewed his call for openly gay people to serve in the armed forces. All I can say is it's about time. Why we guard so closely the right to die for country on some far off God forsaken soil I'll never know. But health care and homosexuality weren't the only things on Obama's mind. Obama promised he'd have troops out of Iraq by August, renewed pleas for international forces to take the lead in Afghanistan, promised big money to fund clean energy products, said he'd make America's education system the best in the world and chastised republicans and democrats for not working together.

It was nice to see an American president give an eloquent state of the union address, 8 years of former president George Bush's painful awkwardness was enough and I'm tired of Americans coming across as cross-eyed and drooling morons in the international media. But, no matter how good Barrack Husein Obama sounded, talk is cheap. This country is facing foreign competition like never before. If America wants to keep freedom and prosperity as its brand names, there needs to be an about face from the status quo on capitol hill asap. If you'd like to listen to the State Of The Union speech in it's entirety it's up on YouTube here.

Why Nebraska will start off as a Big 12 front runner next year

Is Bo Pelini going to lead Nebraska to its next national championship? In his three years at Nebraska Pelini has improved Nebraska from 112th in total defense in 2007-2008, to 55th in 2008-2009, to 7th in 2009-2010.

Every year Pelini has been at Nebraska his teams have gotten progressively better, and Nebraska's players have gotten tougher and smarter every opportunity Bo Pelini has gotten to teach them.

And you can't get too much tougher and smarter than Nebraska was at the end of the 2009-2010 season. If Pelini's team improves by the same degree this offseason as it has in previous offseasons, Nebrska fans could be in for something special next year. The blackshirts have become a feared defensive unit once again. What remains to be seen is if the team as a whole can ever return to anything more than a shadow of its former self. The other teams in the Big 12 have got to be very interested to find that out next year, because while college football is better when Nebraska is good, the Big 12 is also a whole lot tougher too.

Make the world a better place punch a terrorist in the face

News week posted a multimedia article with the faces of the top 8 most wanted terrorists recently. Though the odds are none of us will ever see any of these people in person, I figure it would be good to remember their faces so that if we do we see them we can expediently kill them.

The end of the New York Times?

The New York Times announced a bold new business strategy recently. They are going to give a certain amount of articles free and then have people pay for access after that starting in 2011. I hope it works because "the grey lady" is the best newspaper in the world, but why would people pay for a product they can get for free? Looks like I'll have to take them off of my Igoogle. You win this round Rueters.

The democratic nightmare

Well kids, Scott Brown has won Massachusetts senate seat. I hope I'm wrong about the republicans gridlocking the wheels of government, but I doubt it. Whether this reform or another one goes through, the numbers don't lie. Americans are paying far too much for healthcare that is adequate only for the middle and upper class. I can't see how anything is going to get done now that the republicans have the power to torpedo any reform. The total beligerence shown on both sides during the health care debate makes me think that the United States might be entering into political paralysis at a time when it can ill afford it. I guess I should start studying up on my Chinese. Ni hao benevolent Chinese overlords! Yes, that should be a good start.

Consequences for Pakistan

It doesn't matter who refutes the claims or what the Americans did. Even if they are a bunch of dirty scumbag terrorists, Americans have the right to due process in a court of law and a fair trial. If allegations of torture by Pakistani police and prison officials are true, which they probably are, then the 5 Americans accused of terrorism in Pakistan are not receiving that. America needs to respond strongly to this. Pakistan may be an ally in the "war on terror," but allowing any Americans to be tortured no matter what the pretext puts all Americans abroad at risk.

Big brother is watching you

Good news everyone! We're safe from terrorism! There's no way Osama Bin Laden can reach us through the iron bars we've built up around ourselves! The Guardian, a respected British newspaper unearthed a new revelation regarding the amount of power we have given law enforcement to oppress the citizens of the United States today. It sure seems like we ought to be more concerned with the very real threats from within our nation rather than Obsessing over ol' Osama.


The FBI has been fraudulently claiming to investigate terrorism in order to illegally search the e-mails of journalists under the auspices of the patriot act. Ladies and gentlemen, nothing on the internet or on your computer is secure from our recently empowered law enforcement bodies. In order to fight a rag tag band of dirty flea infested religious crazies the U.S. has sacrificed major civil liberties. You can bet that though one incident of abuse of the patriot act has been caught, there are thousands of others that have not been caught. It may not be too long before George Orwell's thought police become a reality. I'm not advocating revolution, but something better than apathy is required.

African jerk offs ruin religion for everybody

God dammit religious zealots! Will you quit killing innocent people so religious minded folks can enjoy the piece of mind that their lifestyle brings. Where in the bible or the koran does it say that it's ok to murder those who don't agree with you? You guys would be douche bags whether you were religious or not. If there is a hell, it's difficult to imagine that those who murder others in the name of religion are not going there.

Run in terror left coastians!

As usual, I'm bitter about the often terrible whether in my home state of Nebraska. So, when those who live in paradise get slapped with a little piece of my own meteorological hell, a little part of me rejoices. California got a tornado warning today, but alas, there was no destruction. I wonder how much of our national debt would disappear if that state vanished in some cataclysmic natural disaster?

The new kings of the Big 12

With rivals imploding left and right it looks like the University of Nebraska's football team is going to come back loaded next season, and Nebraska is starting to look ascendant. After ending the year with a holiday bowl stomping of Mike Stoops' Arizona Wildcats Nebraska is back on the national stage, and every one in Nebraska feels all warm and fuzzy.


The the curse of Steve Peterson looks to be over, and no one since Charlton Heston has pulled off a better Mosses impersonation than Nebraska's Bo Pelini. This year he led his long suffering flock of Nebraska fans out of the Egyptian slavery that was our Peterson imposed football Purgatory. The resemblance may get even more uncanny next year, as he just might lead us to the promised land.



The evil genius is gone from Texas Tech, the eggman is gone from Kansas, OU appears to be on the wane and the Big 12 is looking weaker than it ever has. That is of course good news for Nebraska fans. There's no reason to think that the defense, which made monumental strides last year, going from a Callahanesque 113th in total defense to being one of the most dominant squads in the nation, won't continue to improve. And if it does, they could start a cheerleader under center and still challenge for the Big 12 Championship. Not that a cheerleader could do much worse than Zach Lee did last season anyway.

This weeks sign that the apocalypse is upon us

While there might not be a need to remind those in Haiti that the end is nigh, those in the United States sometimes need a gentle reminder that all good things in life will soon meet a horrible and agonizing end.

So, this weeks sign that all the world is going straight to hell is that the U.S. government is going to need to raise the debt cap again. I'm all for optimism, but the Christian Science Monitor figures America's national debt will need to be increased to over 13 trillion dollars in order for it to remain solvent in 2010. That's a whole hell of a lot of money. With the way the country has been performing economically in recent years, it looks like it's going to be very difficult if not impossible to pay that debt down.

Let the clusterfuck begin!!

Well, if the Democrats this senate race in Massachusetts they will lose their filibuster proof super majority in the senate and Americans can officially look forward to an agonizing gridlock in government for the next three years. I Hope America doesn't need to raise taxes or make new laws any time soon.

This is CNN right?

One of the most insidious effects of the emergence of the 24-hour news cycle has been the use of non-experts in the role of experts. CNN does this all the time and it drives me bonkers. The Onion does a great job of making fun of it, and the should because the use of reporters as pannel experts is misleading and useless as a news format. This is why I love the Onion, not only are edgy and funny, but they attack a lot of salient points that most candy-assed corporate journalists are too scared to take on.


The pendulum has begun to swing back in the news world from extreme corporatism to more community based jouralism, and the huge international conglomerates are going to find it increasingly difficult to turn a profit off of news. This is good news for the common man. But we, the American News consumers, might have to wait quite a long time before the industry finally reaches its nadir and is forced to reform. So, until that glorious day, we will have to watch reporters pretend like they know what the fuck they are talking about on any number of issues Check it out what I'm talking about.

Google finally stands up to China

Don't have time to write this now. But this is just awesome. After China tried to hack out the e-mail acounts of Chinese human rights activists google has decided to stop censoring its search results for them. Check it out here.

Saudi King's brilliant plan to recover lost diamond goes horribly awry

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia's plan to recover a national treasure stolen from his country in Thailand 20 years ago was met with bitter defeat yesterday. The monarch's attempt to recover the famous blue diamond was foiled when, after summoning the entire Thai royal family to a secluded room in his palace in Saudi Arabia he gave them a chance to come clean.

"Now I'm going to leave for five minutes and when I come back that diamond had better be on my desk." Abdullah said.

Upon returning to the room after the five minutes had expired the sultan found it completely ransacked.

"Those motherfuckers took everything," Abdullah said. "They took the rugs, they stole the damn desk and they even took my fucking dog! That was a $7O,000 dog!"

Thai crown prince Vajiralongkorn, seen walking a dog looking very much like the sultan's with a suspiciously huge blue diomand hanging from its collar has denied all allegations of theft.

"As a representative of the Thai people I would never steal and then have sex numerous times on King Abdullah's rug," Vajiralongkorn said. "And I would certainly never use his dog to help engage in any of those lewd sex acts over and over again."

H1N1 now more popular in Thailand than current government coalition

The H1N1 death toll has reached 192 in Thailand according to news outlet Rueters, leading a majority of Thai citizens to shift their allegiance within the contentious constitutional democracy.

"We are tired of being gunned down during military coups or packed by the hundreds into trucks and suffocated during dissident crackdowns. We prefer to expire during a violent fever. It is much more humane." Bangkok resident Somkid Boonthanom said. "It is time for a new leadership! Viva H1N1!"

Meanwhile behind the scenes Thai King Bhumibol Adulyadej and the ultra powerful Thai royal family have ordered the discreet assassination of H1N1, purchasing millions of orders of a new vaccine earlier this month. Reports from those close to the Thai royal family indicate that the royals believe they will be able to defeat H1N1 with the vaccination program currently underway, but that they are disappointed that they won't have anything to rape or loot once the conflict is resolved in their favor.

Ousted Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra also responded to the arrival of a new political heavyweight in the Thai arena.

"Let me first just say that H1N1 is an evil killer as are all of its supporters," Shinawatra said. "I don't condone violence, but if tens of thousands of my completely independent supporters were to suddenly rise up and burn down the city of bangkok in an attempt to destroy my infectious opponent on February 12 sometime between 5 and 11 pm, weeeellll I just wouldn't know what to say about that."

H1N1 could not be reached for comment as it is a fucking soulless virus, but it is assumed that the swine/avian flu combination is confident in it's chances of carrying the next election due in no small part to the unsanitary conditions of the Thai capitol of Bangkok and a human rights record that is far superior than that of its political opponents.

Islam in the crosshairs

This is the kind of stuff that makes me sick. A Somali man attempts to murder a cartoonist who draws the Islamic prophet Mohammad and the charge can't just be attempted murder, it has to be terrorism as well. "Phtew," that is the sound of me spitting on this prosecutor. Thanks to this person's zeal to heap as many charges on some crazy religious radical as possible we can now rest assured that there is no such thing as equal justice for Muslims. The Muslim attempted to murder the cartoonist. That's what it was! But nope, the prosecutor wants to further his career at the expense of justice, so the charge is terrorism.

I see this as wrong on two levels. First, I am sick and tired off prosecutors using the law, and the lives of men and women as tools to further their careers. What is with them throwing every charge imaginable at a man to try and see if they can make one stick? In my opinion this is nothing but sheer malice towards the citizenry they are supposed to serve, and the kind of callous disregard for human life and liberty that they are supposed to be preventing, NOT PROMOTING!

Second, why did the Danish cartoonist have to do his damnest to blaspheme the Muslim religion? Look, I'm all for defending free speech, and yes, this man has the right to draw whatever cartoon he wants. But knowing that this is the most disrespectful thing he can do to Islam, and still doing it, shows that this man is intentionally antagonizing Muslims. Get a life Danish cartoonists! There are better, less disrespectful ways to get your point across than drawing a cartoon of a religion's holiest prophet with a bomb on his head in the shape of a Turbin. And when you Blaspheme someone's messiah, don't be surprised when the craziest guy in the club tries to kill you. You brought it upon yourself.

So, just remember people. Justice has nothing to do with fairness or equality. And if you're Muslim, now would be a good time to watch your step. Big brother is watching you closer than ever.

Another good coach covers up another poor Big 12 coaching decision

Tommy Tuberville is a great hire for Texas Tech. Though he's not the equal of the man the school just fired due to his chilly relationship with the athletic department, Tuberville will probably keep Tech nationally relevant for at least a couple of years.

The problem is, Texas Tech isn't the kind of school that will allow Tuberville to recruit the kind of athletes it's going to take to line up and play winning smash mouth football in the Big 12. Tech will almost certainly trend away from the explosive finesse offensive attack that Mike Leach pioneered under Tuberville's stewardship, and that's too bad for Texas Tech. Expect Tech to eventually be relegated to it's familiar role as perennial cellar dweller within five years. It's sad to watch a program that redefined offence in college football implode like Texas Tech has, but, such is the grand circle of life. Here's ESPN's take on it.

Take a good look, this is the problem.

No virgins for you!

Terrorists in Afghanistan could be the new favorites to win this years Darwin award. Here's the story on how they shot their metaphorical wad too soon and blew themselves up. Praise be to Allah!

Isn't it about time that the world moved out of the counter-reformation?

The gay marriage debate in America is really getting stale. The United States of America is supposed to be the land of the free and yet, gays are not free to get married. I thought this graphic from The Atlantic was extremely telling. Apparently American's would rather have marriages that produce children with webbed feet than marriages between same-sex couples.