Valentine's day in America. The day when men bribe the women in their lives with gifts so that they won't leave them. See also, best chance of the year for sex. See also, that time of the year when couples rub their feigned happiness into the faces of their single friends.
I'm not bitter or anything, just saying. Mabye in some places Valentine's day is a day for the lucky few who have found love to rejoice in their good fortune. But in America Valentine's Day is strictly commerical. It's about selling food, diamonds, chocolate, movie tickets and god knows what else ... probably sex toys and date rape drugs. Oh and don't forget about all of the sacarine, vomit inducing ballads Americans will be forced to listen to for the next 3 days.
Luckily for those in Saudi Arabia, their austere American backed government has taken away the freedom of couples to needlessly waste a bunch of money and make single people feel like crap. Kudos to the crazy religious zelots on this one.
I think we can draw a lesson from the American support of this oppressive regime. There's enough phonyness around this stupid holiday to make JD Salinger's Holden Caulfield kill himself on the spot. Are the Saudis giving us moral support in our struggle with this insidious holiday? If so I stand in solidarity with them. They have inspired me. Obesity is a problem in America and Kim Jong Il has taken a passionate stand against that in North Korea. Perhaps it's time we threw our political backing behind him too. If we did, I'm sure I could find the strength to give up cheeseburgers and fettechini alfredo.
So, in conclusion, if you are in a relationship go enjoy yourself. But do me a favor and don't flaunt it. It's fucking annoying and Tim Duey might just have to choke a bitch if it gets too flagrant. And if you know some poor sap that nobody likes, like Joe Bremer, give him a call. Let him know, that even though nobody likes him. At least you don't hate him. :D
LMAO Tim very good! I also hate the holiday of valentine's day. I thought about going out hunting today, I heard cupids are in season. I also thought of the greatest way to show how much you care. Nothing says you care for another like conflict diamonds. Some diamonds are made others are mined, but some come from areas of the World where people die for the diamonds. I can't think of a more meaningful diamond than one that 10, 100, or even 1000 scrawny miners had to die for. If I were in the diamond trade company I would offer my blood diamonds with a proof of authenticity telling where it came from and roughly how many people were killed in the mining of that particular stone. Other diamonds are all the same, but blood diamonds are very special. I could see the prices of those diamonds soaring over manufactured and humanely mined ones. I foolishly once paid for a normal everyday diamond, but never again. And sure maybe nobody likes me but someday I will find the one and give her a diamond that cost the lives of entire African villages to show how much I care.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to kill more African villagers than Kobe Bryant to show a girl you love her Joe, and this is why I despise valentines day. I can think of nothing more despicable than commercializing love. So, I'll lift my Sam Adams Boston Ale to you on that one sir.
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